There's So Much More To Do...

In life, everyone has an aim, a goal, something they want to achieve before they leave this earth. I have a dream, a goal too. I want to be successful, who doesn't, and want to be able to live without the worries of money :)

I have been studying for the past week, something I don't usually do well in, but by His grace, i usually do fine in my exams. The only problem is, I don't wanna just do okay or fine in the upcoming papers, I wanna ace it. I'll try my hardest for sure, but my attention span is that of a peanut. Example 1, I was at my friend's, Jeen Pei's, house yesterday trying my best to study but the whole focus shifted once the Nintendo Wii was on. Great huh? Yea, from one game it turned into a whole hour of playing and only left me with about half an hour to study. See little distractions like this throws my attention of studying out the window. I hate my attention span.

But I am looking forward to the part after my exams :) I whole 2 months of class-free schedule and all I need to do is work :l Okay, so I won't be as to put it "bumming" around, cause I need my bank account balance to increase in digits, hopefully zeroes as well. Working at starbucks is fine and all, but working there too often makes you wanna slit your throat and stab your brains (I don't mean it literally). It's just that I get bored too easily working there. That's why I'm considering a second part-time job :) yea, still in the same F&B line but hopefully the 'new' job will be one that is less straining/tiring.

So yea, my 2 months from now have been settled and done with, not bad at all huh? :)

more to come :)

Sometimes It's Hard To Live In Reality.

Time has passed by so fast! Too fast if I must add. I find it quite unbelievable that we are almost halfway through with 2010. My classes for semester 1 has ended and it's been a whole lot of crazy going on with me. Stress, that was faced and done with (for now at least) and a new phase of my life will be coming right up. Yes, HOLIDAYS! :) haha, back to bumming and sleeping in and doing a whole lot of nothing... Maybe going around town and just chill... Yea, it does bring me back to my 2009... But one thing's for sure, I can't be too much of a bum. Need to work hard and earn some money. Too many things have been listed in my "want" list and it's not going to get longer. Need to cross them off my list (by which I mean buy/get them, not forgo them) :) I'm considering a second job for now. Starbucks been great but it isn't a whole lot fun working there all the time. Besides, I feel like I've lost the interest working there. Don't think I'll be leaving starbucks, not for now anyway. I recently got asked to work in this new cafe place over at Jaya One and I'm considering it, negotiating and hoping that it'll be a better job than my current. I might just work at both place, that way I get more pay. But that would suck in the long run.

Yea, reality bites. Sometimes things just don't work out the way you plan it to be. And maybe it's just a way for you to work even harder. It does, however, still annoys the hell out of you. I need to focus on the last leg of the race in my 1st semester. Final exams in 2 weeks, need to start hitting the books (or in my case, notes). Just so you know, studying and me is like a balloon facing a needle, it can hurt me bad. After my final paper on 21st of June, I'll probably start by working more hours. Yay, can't wait -_-

hard work, please pay off :)

I Am Smart, Don't Tell Me Otherwise Cause I Just Won't Give A Damn :)N

Yea... Blogging :) Not something I find fun anymore :) But freestyle writing and no boundaries expression, I think I can do a little more of them. I've been super busy the past few weeks, mainly with assignments and group presentation preparations. Done a lot of hard work (by which I mean, sacrificing late nights to do last minute work). Ok, so my method of working is still leaving things to the last minute but I don't see much of a problem in that for now.

Let me tell you a little bit about my friend Stress. My relationship with stress is just great :) I am motivated, inspired, pushed to the limits by him. So he isn't a friend I would hang out much with, but he isn't that bad of a guy you know. I think I work harder with him around. After today, he's gone away.

My preparations for my BIG presentations were today. I used the plural because I had two different presentations. FML. But that didn't kill me, no worries. But it did cause me to get more anxious and nervous. I felt the adrenaline rush flowing through me (ok fine it was exaggerated but still it was intense and exciting).

Advertising Principles Group Presentation, I honestly expected that my group would have and could have done way better if time was used better, but unfortunately, our last minute work only helped us enough to maybe borderline pass. I'm not complaining or anything, I think everyone did remarkably well, considering the lack of preparation, but it's all good now. What I'm freaking glad was my Mass Comm Group Presentation. It feels pretty damn awesome to have all the hard work you put into something paid off well. We got an A btw. :) And it is mainly thanks to Zoe Lim, my group mate who actually did a whole bunch of stuff :) including editing videos (which you can watch by clicking herehttp://www.youtube.com/user/RapeInPrevention. It's pretty awesome how she does this really cool stuff like taking pictures, filming vids and editing them. And of course I did some work too, if you were thinking "Jared's a lazy basterd".

Posters for my Ad Principles presentation:

And these are done for my Mass Comm presentation:

I know they look really amateurish. But who cares, I am one. :) The first two pictures were taken and edited by me (bruise marks by Zoe), yes, that's why it looks kinda crappy. The last two pictures were taken by Zoe and edited by me :) The girl is my other group mate, Jeen Pei.

Yes, so my last few weeks have been pretty preoccupied and sadly I have forsaken many other things for that, like skipping church service (forgive me Lord), watching little to none television, sleeping too little and NOT WORKING! I gave up on working too! Ok not forever lar, just for the time being. I need to have "Me time" too you know. But the feeling of not working is starting to affect me greater each passing moment. Everyday, my wallet gets lighter and my bank account losses more digits. I need the cash, hence "Me time" will have to wait. Good news is, my break is just around the corner. That means more free time :) I just have to pass one more obstacle, exams. It's my last lap before my sem ends, so why not do it well eh?

On another note, I'm getting a Canon DSLR soon :) yay!

peace out :)

Sadly, This Is Reality

I wish I can be a rockstar, traveling the world and being seen and heard. I wish I can be a hobo, living in the streets with no responsibility whatsoever. I wish I could be anywhere else but here. Dreams are so easy to dream, but living it is ten times harder. I hate the fact that I feel hopeless in life so often nowadays. I don't like the feeling of being trapped or having your dreams killed by the reality I'm in. Can someone just take me to the moon? :)

It really isn't as bad as it probably is, but I feel as if I'm stuck in a hole that is twelve feet deep and there's no way out. Somehow I'm trapped and exposed at the same time. People seem to see my weaknesses, I feel transparent and vulnerable. That isn't a very good position to be in. I like my privacy and I like things kept to myself, don't go revealing personal stuff.

I feel even worse these days. Must be the stress from assignments and the fact that I have no life outside of my college. Even church seems dull these days. Damn it, why can't things just be easier? Why must reality be such an ass? I am trying to keep myself calm and collected and it's really harder said than done. Anger and frustration just keep bursting out of me in the night, it really sucks, it sucks bad.

Okay, so there, I've vent out my frustrations, some of it at least...

Freedom, pls come my way...

Turn The Lights Off...

If you haven't already realize, my blog is kinda dead, I know I should update it more often, but I'm honestly not inspired anymore. BUT... This post is kinda out of the ordinary, so I have to blog about what happened last night. After work, my colleague and I went for a movie, Iron Man 2! Yea, the movie was, Action packed. So, what happened was after the movie we headed back to the car. I am currently driving this really old tank @Volvo. It turns out that I forgot to turn my headlights off. YES! My battery died, I couldn't even get the door to unlock, had to manually use the key and turn it (the alarm went off and I almost died of stress). We tried many methods, like pushing the car to give it a start. But it was a failure. Screw that, I was tired and pissed and sleepy. It killed the mood that night. I kept praying, begging God for some miracle or a way to get over the situation. Praise God, He answered my prayers. Two awesome guys with a Ford Ranger were there and we asked for help. Amazingly the driver had a jump start cable, which he so magically pulled out from his back seat. It was as if he was prepared or knew someone would need it. It was truly an amazing coincidence, but I do believe that God was real and at work then. That incident left me shocked and amazed. My colleague and I were like stunned with joy at the miracle :)

Praise the Lord, Amen :D

Love is More Than A Four Letter Word

Ah yes, the ever relying, ever strived for, what everyone dreams of and hopes for, and searches all their life to find it. Yea, it does happen to everyone ones in a lifetime. I love a lot of things (yes, love is not only regarded to another person), music, movies, tv shows, money, people... etc. The level of love for each does differ but, there's always a dilemma when it comes to love, something I call, Self. When it comes to love, you will naturally end up thinking about yourself.

True love is being selfless... True, but no one can truly say that they have true love. I for one have been rather selfish. Yes, I admit. Most often I like to put my feelings and considerations first before anyone else. I apologize if at times I put anyone down for my benefit. I do it sub-consciously and I do regret the feeling after. At the end of the day, I don't think that you can love someone and not care about yourself, c'mon even the reasons for loving someone isn't selfless...

I know that sometimes one can love so many things at one time. Is that wrong? I don't believe so, loving and being loyal is a whole different topic all together, but then again when it comes to loving a person, you must be faithful and loyal. I hate the feeling that I have been disloyal to God lately. I do stumble at times, and this here is my confession. It's hard to stay focussed to one when there are so many other distractions out there. I just gotta work harder at it. My ultimate goal is to live my life for His purpose after all...

On another note, is it ever too early to start looking for love? I keep seeing everyone around me hooking up or coupling. Yea, I find it rather weird, cause for me, I really don't find the reasons for dating. Hmmm, yea, I should start maturing now. I do sound like a little kid don't I? My colleagues think I look too kiddish and innocent... T_T I hate me... But that ain't entirely bad lar. Just that at most times, it's bad. :(

Anyway, that's just my short take on the L word. I guess I'll learn more about it in the years to come, and hopefully when love walks in, music and movies will not be it.

:)

What happened in the day? Well, I personally loved today and tomorrow (friday). :) I'm sorry, it's midnight, but its still the 25th to me. Moving on, today was great cause my advertising class ended early :) So, joy to us all... And yea, we had mass comm tutorial... Cool stuff :) We watched a movie, Shattered Glass. What I learned? Journalism ethics. Keep that in mind... It was a rather interesting movie that really keeps you thinking... YES! And tomorrows Comp Graphics class got canceled! I finally get a whole day of nothing to do :) But I shall be a good boy and start on my assignment that is due in 2 weeks... :)

peace ya'll ;)

Sleepy, BUT I need to get things done....

Oh God, I can't believe I've been staying up till 2am these pass few days. YES even now. God, I swear I could just die, but I shall be strong and continue to press on to get through the day. My life's an irony I tell you. Why do I say so? Well, it's maybe cause I'm selfish, that or maybe life just like to play around with me.

I'm currently stuck in a dilemma. I find myself not being able to work enough. On one hand I love that I have a little more chill time to just be able to relax and maybe do some work, but on the other hand, I suffer financially. I squeeze my wallet for enough dough to help me survive a month. Yes, I do not like to save. Like I've always said, the main purpose of me working is for me to be able to enjoy going out, buying things whenever and not worry about asking or begging from my parents. Then again, it's not as if I don't want to work, it's the fact that my classes always get in the way of me working. For now, at least, I should put my priority to my studies. God help me.

Another thing is, with reference to the above, I have been really lazy lately. With work ending so late, I get up late as well, practically just enough time for me to wash up and head to class. Yea, that's screwing up my life. I need time to focus on my assignments. I'm so way behind everyone and the pressure is getting to me. It's frustrating to know that you have to get something done but whenever you get the motivation or when you're finally in the right mood to do your work, other things obstructs you. Yes, like work, for me. Nowadays, use any free available time I have to go online and watch korean dramas.

I know that I'm in a crunch for time, but please just leave me be :( I want my work done a.s.a.p. as well. All I can do now is just pray real hard for His mercy and grace and hope to Him that he'll give me the strength and self-control I really need :)

I need a balance in life. And money, more and more of $$ :)