daily babbles...

in need of money... :(

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

OhMyGosh... 2009 is at It's End!

It's really amazing and frightening how the year can just pass so fast. It'll be Christmas Eve tomorrow and pretty soon, New Year's Day will come... So, what have I been doing lately? December has been pretty productive. The days just go by so quick.

I haven't been blogging, so I'll just update the site with happenings in my life :)

I've been good this December, getting my time fully used, not bumming (much) and well, I've been spending lots of my hours out with friends. I love it when I get to just relax and enjoy myself with the company of my peers.

I recently attended my youth church's camp, Elevate '09. What an incredible camp. Guest speaker Pr. Julie from Glad Tidings was an amazing, passionate and enthusiastic speaker. I can't remember the last camp that I attended that had a really interesting and faith challenging preacher. I truly feel that XYZ has been elevated to a whole new different level. PTL!!

I thank God for great people in my life. I am inspired and encouraged by each of you guys. 2009 is truly a year of change for me. I never really expected to find good friends but I was wrong. I enjoyed the crazy fun times we had together. And I know that 2010 will be another level greater than this year :)

Thanks guys for the awesome moments... sleepover was awesome btw. What am I talking about? Well, a couple of us went over to hauyon's house for a sleepover :) (steph, lyn, vonn, zhiwei, ivan, san and boonkeat) I think that the time spent together was just super fun, watching movies, playing taboo and just hanging around the awesome 'resort' :) Let's do it again!

And, the biggest update of all! I am finally a college student! Booya! I know most will be saying "Finally!" but it's been a good gap year okay. I am really going to miss all the free time I had. :( But, it is time for me to carry on with my life and begin a new chapter. I am nervous as to how I'll adapt to college life, but by God's grace, I know I can do it :) Fighting! :) Anyway, enrolling was just part A of the process. Since I am not an Arts student, I am required to take an entrance exam or some sort to see my 'potential'? Haha, nah, apparently they would just want to see my progress at the end of the day :s But I am super scared as to what will happen, as some may know, drawing/sketching is far from my forte. Crap! Anyway, "God! Please help me!!" :)

Keep looking :)

Saturday, November 21, 2009

No, I'm Not Dead,... Yet.

What in the world? Honestly how can someone be so insensitive as to just do something with such a cold manner, without even being a bit apologetic or sympathetic. I mean, there's always another way to tell me something.

Okay, what the heck is this guy ranting about? This was what happened...

I've been feeling like shit the whole week at work, at home, in my thoughts... It's just not a good week. It's nothing huge or anything, it's just that things aren't just going easy. Work has been bothering me mostly. I've gotten less shift hours than when I first started working and it's really a bummer when you actually want to work but don't get the opportunity and the shifts, what's worse is that I could really use the money. So it's all good when I found out that I'll be working only for 25 hours for the week, I thought it a good thing cause the shifts were all middle shifts and at a really perfect timing. But work hasn't been as fun or exciting, instead I feel like I have just been the target of everyone working there to be isolated by. I feel distant towards my colleagues and feel as though as I have just killed someone and they are criticising me in their thoughts. i know that's not the case but I just don't feel included in their conversations and it's as if I were in a different dimension as them. So, to add to the misery and negative thoughts I have, my supervisor text me on Thursday morning, just a couple of hours before my shift was to start, informing me that I don't have to work on that day and the next. I was stunned for a second, going through my head was, "Can they do that?". Maybe I'm just getting ahead of myself, but I don't like the way they inform things. I bet they don't do this to the other older partners. so is it just the fact that I'm new? Or that they really don't give a rats ass about me? Shit, so I'm a failure? I don't thing I've done anything wrong to receive this kind of civility. I just pray and hope for things to get better, I don't know how long I can last being caught in the middle of unfair bias-ness.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Tired...

I'm getting real lazy these days. I don't if it's the weather or that I'm not sleeping well. But either way, I get up feeling sleepy and the whole day I'll naturally be zoning out. It could be the night shifts at work, who knows. I guess my sleeping time and habit has been altered.

Last night at work, I was literally shaking. My hands couldn't stay still and I feel not there mentally. It's as if I can't focus, everything was done automatically and I had to force myself to snap out of it. Shot down a double tall toffee nut latte and prayed for the better. What better cure than a dose of coffee and sugar to get you pumped, eh?

I'm still exhausted from last nights shift. I'm still new with the cleaning tasks for the closing shift at work. I can't seem to get things done quickly. To add to my slowness, I was working with another new partner, she came in after I did, so I guess I should know more stuff compared to her. Working the closing shift with two new partners, my manager must have stressed a little, thankfully all went well, I hope, and we managed to finish our duties not too late, but I had to help her out a lot. As if I don't have enough on my plate already, I literally was doing two tasks at a time. Hectic, but that's the job for the closing shift. Learning to multitask is always a challenge, but it is a challenge I must face and overcome. I feel suffocated sometimes, I can't seem to find myself at peace, whether at work, at home or even when with my friends. I'm still protective over myself...



Keep looking :)

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Equations Of Life

How does one and one become two? If only all things were so simple as to just being the way it is. Complications arise out of actions that people make and sometimes I feel caught in the lies of my own thoughts. If only life were more obvious and less twisted.

I keep thinking about my life more often nowadays, and reminiscing the past. Nah, I'm not being nostalgic or any sort. Just more of assessing my time spent over the past 10 months. I can't seem to find a sense of real happiness or satisfaction in my life over the past year. I know that I have gained a lot of knowledge and abilities, and I have definitely known myself a whole lot better. But thinking through, is it enough? I don't want to keep feeling like there's this 'thing' in me that is trapped. I don't want to keep hiding, but fear is conquering me. I'm really beyond stressing myself with my 'deep' thoughts sometimes.

And not that it's related but work has been getting on my nerves sometimes. It's tough to hold a job, no matter how 'fun' and 'easy' it is. It sucks when you have to do routine stuff and feel bored to death in the store. I ain't complaining but it's just not as easy as it seems. I try my best to do well, I really do, but it's sometimes not enough. I find it hard sometimes to get use to things and fitting in to the environment isn't a breeze. I'm still learning, and have a long way more to go to becoming a good barista. :)

Smile more, and stay happy... Those are my encouragements to myself. Doesn't hurt to be praised every now and then. The feeling of appreciation goes a long way, doesn't make you feel used. I thank God that on Tuesday, during the launch of the Christmas promo in Starbucks, all went well. I did my manager proud by being knowledgeable to the products in front of the district manager :) You know the feeling when you are able to make someone happy and proud. I love that feeling, it's as if "Finally I did something! Something right..." it's just an awesome moment for me, and I'm proud of myself... I wanna be that guy that people see and know that he can do great things, that can be counted on and is useful, I want to be appreciated for the things I've done or for the effort I've put in to something :) What am I saying, I'm sure that's what everyone hopes to achieve... Right?

Keep looking :)

Saturday, October 31, 2009

Some Things Just Aren't Right...

Going on and on and on about what my life can offer is really tense. I can't seem to find what is the right thing to do most of the time. Is it right if you aren't happy with what you are suppose to do? I want to be happy, who doesn't, but at what cost really? Now, I think I'm playing it safe most of the time, but somehow it's not really satisfying to just not let go and be truly real. A taste of real life is what I need.

Good part of things are, that I hardly have the laptop at home anymore. So I haven't been bumming in front of the screen. Although I have not accomplish my goal of cleaning my room and redecorating/refurnishing it. I should get to that. This week was a good rest period for me, working only three days and having the few days off... That's really great, cause I got to sleep in and laze around most of the time :)

On another note, I got paid yesterday!! Suddenly the numbers in my account doesn't seem so depressing :) I'm having the urge to spend T.T But self control... I shall only get the necessities :) Cramming it down to a pair of shoes (converse) , a pair of pants/jeans and a pair of shorts. If you're thinking that I have a lot of $$, think again... I don't and that's my list till the end of the year... Ok maybe I'll add in a couple of t-shirts :)

Well hopefully things will get better and I will be a whole lot more active doing something, instead of just bumming and lazing around...

Keep looking :)

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Bored Outta My Socks...

OMG!!! How can life be so meaningless? T_T I think I'm going crazy with the emptiness of my life. So uninspiring, so unproductive... I'm not doing anything significant and most of the day I just sit around with crazy bored thoughts in my head. Why lar? Hmm... Well, I really need some activity in my days. I mean, it's not going to be forever that time is on my side. Right now, work is cool, I'm not being held up and it isn't taking up my time. But it's not fun when you get all this free time and just end up bumming around like some loser that has no life. T_T Help! I need some excitement, I need to do something! Soon!

Goal #1 : Get ass out of chair, away from the comp and out of the house.

Goal #2 : Get a life...

p/s: I'm loving free Starbucks Coffee everyday :)


Keep looking :)

Saturday, October 3, 2009

Here We Go Again...

Ah, another weekend is here... I've been bumming around the house for the last 2 days, what a way to spend my first few days of the new month huh? Well, I can't say that I've fully hated the lazing around, but sitting at home the whole day is pretty tiring and it gets old. But of course I didn't just sit around not doing a single thing... I've been watching back-to-back episodes of the super awesome Coffee Prince :)



Yea, it's Korean drama, but hey, it's really entertaining. :) Ok, so by now you should know that I watch chick flicks a lot huh? But, who cares ;)

Life's been pretty good, but there are certain worries in my mind that I sometimes can't shake off. I mean, college recently has been on my mind, that and my future. And many other things, that just makes me really anxious and confused. Rolling around bed at night and having my thoughts running so freely is pretty tiring. And to make things worst, it's yet again another Saturday... That means another day spent in church with a group of overly energetic, stubborn & restless 13 year old's... I don't get it, why is it so hard for me to just call a quits? Why must the weighing of pros and cons be so tedious and detailed? Can't I just not do something because I've lost interest and heart? I'm suffering, don't you know? But then again, what matters...

Ahh, two days and I miss work already. Haha, not that work is super awesomely fun, just that I feel at ease there and I occupy my thought with something other than my life and future. It's hard feeling alone at times, I mean, everyone does go through different things in their life, but I just feel like the situations I get myself into are really a bother. Aish, life does get pretty annoying sometimes eh? :)

Keep looking :)

Monday, September 28, 2009

Seen & Heard...

18.09.09

Just having fun with friends can get really awesome, especially with these bunch of people! Our usual Friday-get-together helps us bond. Well, friends can make you happy or relieve you from stress and boredom, but I think being able to communicate and share almost anything that's in your life and mind is above special. These guys are just the best when it comes to friendship. Not everyone can be reliable and a great group to talk to.










19.09.09

XYZ Leaders' Retreat! @ Kuala Rompin...

Beach side, with a relaxing scenery and refreshing breeze... An escape haven...





26.09.09

I've been working @ Starbucks! It's a part-time job and it's great working there. Well, the hours are real flexible and I learned a whole lot about coffee. Making them to tasting them, knowing the difference in aroma and taste between the different blends. It's definitely an experience that's worth it.



I am really enjoying the work atmosphere and my fellow partners (my colleagues). An interesting bunch of people, friendly, kind, helpful and very genuine. Of course I do get picked on sometimes, I guess it's because I'm the youngest and the new guy but it's all in the fun of it. It's never tiring being at work, just that for me, I get stressed out learning how to work the register, taking orders and making the beverages. But work ain't a breeze and learning is never a walk through the park. I'm just glad i have something to do everyday :)


Keep looking :)

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Over The Past One Month

It's amazing how time passes so fast... I can't believe that it's already mid September! Anyway, a lot has been happening and awesome stuff had been done!

29.08.2009

The car crash incident...
On the way to youth, my sis accidentally crashed into a motorcycle while making an illegal U-turn... Door was dented bad and the driver's side window was completely shattered... Thank God no one was injured.



Now I think I'm quite afraid of motorcyclist, especially when they come near your car...

02.09.2009

My mission trip team's thanksgiving dinner @ Carnaval, DJ. Sorry that there aren't any pictures... But the place is awesome... Serving you meat non-stop, nothing can top that. Food is great and the price is reasonable. Meat-lovers must-go-place. :)

06.09.2009

Movie and walking around the night market in TTDI :) Great fun on a Sunday, with Choonyee and Eilyn.



rojak :)


Super amazing food there, in conjunction with the "buka puasa" the food sold there are even more delicious...

samosas...

Eilyn went: What are those? I replied: Samosas... Eilyn: Ooo... What's that? A Famosa's brother ar? Choon and I: T_T



11.09.2009

Gym+Movie+Cookies+Sampat-ing+Cg= AWESOME FUN!!!

Friday morning, the day started out with an intense workout at the church gym for Zhiwei, Deb, Waisan and myself.

We then had lunch and headed straight to 1U for a movie! Gamer was a very smart plotted film. I honestly don't know why some fella hated the show so much... But for me, it was a realisation on human character. The writer sure did express the sickness and cruelty of a human thought and perverseness. As disgusting and wrong some parts of the film were, overall it is an amazing movie, entertaining and good play.

After the movie, we went to Steph's house, where they were baking cookies for us. Hauyon, Vonn and Choonyee were there too... Talking and just spending time together was real good. I couldn't ask for a better Friday. I think I had way too many cookies, I literally felt like puking after consuming like 7 cookies, but I managed to control myself :) We moved our 'session' to the playground opposite. We as usual made fools of ourselves... but who's judging... It was all in the fun of it :)


steph
choonyee
hauyon
waisan
zhiwei
vonn





Then, Zhiwei and I headed to our youth pastor's house for Cg. A great session on the next generation, how we are to rise up and lead the next generation. I was inspired by the video session of City Harvest Church during their Emerge Conference. How they grew in numbers. One part of it that really impacted me was when one of their cg leader in their youth group shared about how they reached out to their members and saw growth in their cg. And all they did was care and spent time with their members. I was amazed at what such little things can do to impact people. I definitely learned a lot, hopefully a time will com where my cg will be impacted as well...

Keep looking :)

Monday, September 7, 2009

Go Genting!

28.08.2009

An incredible trip of fun-filled excitement. GENTING!! After many many years of missing out in the great thrills and fun of Genting theme park, I finally went there! And with this bunch of happening people!


Clockwise: (bottom left) Deb, Zhiwei, me, ShuJian, Steph and Eilyn..



It was really cold, and chilly. And smart me, before entering the theme park, we had Starbucks. And guess who ordered a Blended Dark Mocha... :) But it was really good, the coffee that is... not the cold :)





Lucky for us there wasn't much a crowd in the theme park. So we got to sit rides without a long que, and many many times... My friends went on the Space Shot like 7 times. I only went on twice. Okay, I ain't no thrill seeker and was actually scared shit just thinking about riding it. At last of course I went for it, and it's super awesome!



We also sat the Corkscrew, the one that goes around and you end up upside down, still awesome though... We sat that like 3 times. The other rides weren't as happening as these two though. But I think the freakiest ride for me was the really tame-looking swing. You know the one that goes round and round with you in the swing?



Of course, we also went for a little less life-threatening rides...



As most fun trips goes, an end has to happen. But fear not! For it can always happen again! Looking forward to more fun with you guys!

thanks Steph for the awesome shots...

Keep looking :)