Equations Of Life

How does one and one become two? If only all things were so simple as to just being the way it is. Complications arise out of actions that people make and sometimes I feel caught in the lies of my own thoughts. If only life were more obvious and less twisted.

I keep thinking about my life more often nowadays, and reminiscing the past. Nah, I'm not being nostalgic or any sort. Just more of assessing my time spent over the past 10 months. I can't seem to find a sense of real happiness or satisfaction in my life over the past year. I know that I have gained a lot of knowledge and abilities, and I have definitely known myself a whole lot better. But thinking through, is it enough? I don't want to keep feeling like there's this 'thing' in me that is trapped. I don't want to keep hiding, but fear is conquering me. I'm really beyond stressing myself with my 'deep' thoughts sometimes.

And not that it's related but work has been getting on my nerves sometimes. It's tough to hold a job, no matter how 'fun' and 'easy' it is. It sucks when you have to do routine stuff and feel bored to death in the store. I ain't complaining but it's just not as easy as it seems. I try my best to do well, I really do, but it's sometimes not enough. I find it hard sometimes to get use to things and fitting in to the environment isn't a breeze. I'm still learning, and have a long way more to go to becoming a good barista. :)

Smile more, and stay happy... Those are my encouragements to myself. Doesn't hurt to be praised every now and then. The feeling of appreciation goes a long way, doesn't make you feel used. I thank God that on Tuesday, during the launch of the Christmas promo in Starbucks, all went well. I did my manager proud by being knowledgeable to the products in front of the district manager :) You know the feeling when you are able to make someone happy and proud. I love that feeling, it's as if "Finally I did something! Something right..." it's just an awesome moment for me, and I'm proud of myself... I wanna be that guy that people see and know that he can do great things, that can be counted on and is useful, I want to be appreciated for the things I've done or for the effort I've put in to something :) What am I saying, I'm sure that's what everyone hopes to achieve... Right?

Keep looking :)