daily babbles...

in need of money... :(

Saturday, November 21, 2009

No, I'm Not Dead,... Yet.

What in the world? Honestly how can someone be so insensitive as to just do something with such a cold manner, without even being a bit apologetic or sympathetic. I mean, there's always another way to tell me something.

Okay, what the heck is this guy ranting about? This was what happened...

I've been feeling like shit the whole week at work, at home, in my thoughts... It's just not a good week. It's nothing huge or anything, it's just that things aren't just going easy. Work has been bothering me mostly. I've gotten less shift hours than when I first started working and it's really a bummer when you actually want to work but don't get the opportunity and the shifts, what's worse is that I could really use the money. So it's all good when I found out that I'll be working only for 25 hours for the week, I thought it a good thing cause the shifts were all middle shifts and at a really perfect timing. But work hasn't been as fun or exciting, instead I feel like I have just been the target of everyone working there to be isolated by. I feel distant towards my colleagues and feel as though as I have just killed someone and they are criticising me in their thoughts. i know that's not the case but I just don't feel included in their conversations and it's as if I were in a different dimension as them. So, to add to the misery and negative thoughts I have, my supervisor text me on Thursday morning, just a couple of hours before my shift was to start, informing me that I don't have to work on that day and the next. I was stunned for a second, going through my head was, "Can they do that?". Maybe I'm just getting ahead of myself, but I don't like the way they inform things. I bet they don't do this to the other older partners. so is it just the fact that I'm new? Or that they really don't give a rats ass about me? Shit, so I'm a failure? I don't thing I've done anything wrong to receive this kind of civility. I just pray and hope for things to get better, I don't know how long I can last being caught in the middle of unfair bias-ness.

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