Finding Yourself

I have never gotten the kind of friends that many have, the kind you can share secrets with or the ones whom you actually trust and take your mask off. Revealing myself to people just isn't as easy as many of you may think. Maybe it's just me but I never seem to find a friend who I know I can lean on. I do have all this confusion and frustration that I just can't share to people I know, not even close friends. One problem I face is the fear of ridicule. I just don't want people I mix around with to see my weakness and vulnerability. Another problem is that there isn't anyone I am close to enough or know long enough to actually understand or trust. I somehow just shun people I know away. It kills me that I have so much frustration that I can't handle and the worst thing is no one can actually help me. Obviously I don't want to reveal it but maybe I will once I find the right person. At the mean time, blogging about it in an anonymous way is the best way to let it out. It's tough to fit in a group of people or find a true friend that is willing to care. I just don't feel that I have ever had this privilege of having someone who cares about me as some people have. I often feel out casted and like I have to try hard to fit in. Nobody is truly alone, but I find that really hard to believe. On the outside, one may seem so sociable and friendly but that doesn't mean that he or she has someone who will be there for them. Maybe it's just my conception or high expectation to what a real friend is but i wouldn't know now would I? Let me try something new. Please if you are reading this, drop in your comments or point of view. It would be really nice to hear from my readers. Besides, I do need help in various areas from now on, plus you get to know what others might think too. I know this is very cheesy, but i want to thank you for spending time to get to know me better through my posts.

Keep looking :)