Dead and Gone

"I've been travelling on this road too long,
just trying to find my way back home,
the old me is dead and gone..."

How long more do I have to take this kind of unnecessary stupidity and stress. Am I to be labelled as a nice guy who everyone things is just happy all the time? Hello! Reality check... No one is that nice. No matter how I come off, no one things I have feelings. God, why is it that people just can't take me seriously? Do you think I don't give a damn about what people say or make me do? Honestly, I do, I just shut them out, and that's the thing, I feel like I am unable to express anger and frustration. And that is a very big problem I face. I just can't bottle up this pissing off of people in me anymore. I'm like a ticking active time bomb, that I feel can just explode in me anytime. So next time you think it's ok to just ignore peoples feelings, DON'T! You might just erupt whatever emotions that has been in them for years.

I can't stand Saturday's... But I guess I've mentioned it many times already. It's crazy how I am still letting myself be so naif to just think that things are just going to be alright. Cause I really HATE that I have to fake it to make it through my day. I can honestly tell you that I don't give a damn about church or my life in church or anything for that matter. Am I suppose to stand for this kind of crap that's being thrown at me? Sure I enjoy the people and the company I get, but I am just not cut out for this kind of shit. It's just not in me anymore to just pretend to be someone I'm not, to be something I look back to and not being able to recognize myself or entering into this lies so deep in that I can't remember who I am. I have to stand up for myself and hopefully can renew and find back my true identity.


Keep looking :)