Hate (I Really Don't Like You)

"Hate is a strong word, but I really really don't like you..."

Notice how some things just never leaves you alone? How bad memories and experiences just comes back to haunt u? I don't like feeling afraid of the past and I don't like the bittersweet experiences I have had.

Nowadays, I have these flashback memories of the past. And it sucks that what I had back then was so free and fun. I did enjoy my life last year, eventhough I had studies and exams. Now, it seems as though everyone is moving on with their lives and I am just stuck in the middle. I can't seem to get over the fact that I can't exactly have the kind of relationship I had with my friends back in high school, and well, I don't exactly hang out with the people at work. It ain't fair how things like college and work can interfere with bonds and friendship made. But it doesn't have to be that way I guess, I'll need to work harder to reconnect back with the friends I had...

I can't seem to shake the thoughts of self-worthlessness off of me. I keep going back and forth trying to convince myself that alright and that I don't have to conform with the norm. I don't know if what I do most of the time is right or wrong, I keep telling myself that I have to do this or it's just the way it has to be. Decisions are often hard but their harder when you have no foundation or facts on the positve results. Life ain't easy, and we all know that, but it's only when you're faced directly at its challenge that you see the real difficulty... !!! I need help to move on!!

Work has recently gotten really boring and busy. I don't like the office hours at all, screw getting used to it. Honestly, I find deskjobs the worst. I know I shouldn't complain or can't but it's just so frustrating to just work. That's why I'm feeling the weekday blues very often... I guess I'll just have to suck it up and stop whining...

Keep looking :)